come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
