My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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