Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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