It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
