Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
