He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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