you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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