Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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