I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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