It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
