I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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