Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the day after is always just damage control
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
