u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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