so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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