mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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