i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize