i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
