Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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