Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
