somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
