Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
