Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
