Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
