She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Couch. On fire.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
