Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
