Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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