I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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