And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I believe in your delicious
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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