I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I understand Curling. That high.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
