wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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