I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
