He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
