Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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