So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
