Having a random hookup so left but love u
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
