this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
