Umm I'm too high to move.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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