I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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