Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
