Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
