she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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