I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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