So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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