I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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