accomplished twins. life is a go
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
