My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
