Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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