What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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