man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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