i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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