the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
