After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
