I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
