Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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