Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize