oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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