so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
