She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
PANTIES FOUND
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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