i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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