Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize